The Climb

I am sure most of you have heard Miley Cyrus' song The Climb (it's older, so I am guessing most have =)). When I hear this song, all I can think about is Lauren and her journey the last two and a half years. In the cancerverse, unless you have been stable (with NED) for five or more years, you are not considered "in remission". It almost feels unattainable to reach this milestone. Five years in the cancerverse is a LONG time. Lauren has been on three different protocols (six different chemotherapy drugs (they are always given in pairs)) with the last causing so much damage (peripheral neuropathy - also commonly called foot drop) she could not walk unassisted for months not to mention chemo brain and I am sure there will be other complications in years to come. She endured 36 radiation treatments to her pelvis causing severe burns, premature menopause and stopping the growth of her uterus making it impossible to physically bear children of her own as well as other female complications that she would be mortified that I share with everyone. She missed a year and a half of middle school and a semester of high school. She lost many friends who were unable to relate to someone who has cancer (some sooner, some later), many stares (I've taken to staring back and making faces when people do this now) and sad sympathetic gestures when she goes out in public, sans hair.

Needless to say, her journey has not been easy and the climb has been the most difficult to date. Her rehabilitation could take months, if not years. I am sure that she dreams of the day when she can run again and be able to play soccer or even simply walk without a walker or a cane. I know I do. I am sure she dreams of having a normal teenage relationship with a boy. I know I do. If you ask her, she will tell you that she is not sorry that she got cancer. She will tell you that it has changed her life, but mostly for the better. And that goes for our whole family. We cherish each moment, living for the day and not for the future, for we were never promised tomorrow. We are thankful for each day we have here and we try to make the best of it, no matter what.

The following pictures are from a short hike that Lauren and I took a couple of weeks ago. It's a small hill behind the apartments that we lived when we first moved to Reno where her and Tyler would go on frequent walks, before her relapse; before the chemo damaged her ability to walk. The first incline up she used her walker, but being a dirt path made it harder so she ditched the walker and held my arm the rest of the way. I was so proud of her for not quitting (a word that is NOT in her vocabulary). She is my inspiration, as I am sure she is to many of you.

We participated (more like visited) the Douglas, NV ACS Relay For Life last weekend with our friends The Reyes family (who lost their son Cris a few months ago). Lauren and I walked the survivor walk in memory of Oliver, Neto, Cris and Clayton -- our dear friends who we lost over the last year and in honor of Lauren and our friend Ariel who are still fighting hard for the right to live. Lauren was honored at the survivor dinner as being the youngest one at the event and received a gift basket. At the beginning of the survivor walk they asked people to raise their hands when asked "are you a 5 year survivor, 10 year, and so on". There was a woman there who is a 47 year survivor! Amazing. Lauren teared up once we sat down and when I asked her what was wrong, she said, "I am only a two month survivor". I could see the fear and uncertainty in her eyes and I just hugged and said, "Don't worry baby, you will get there!". Some may say that I am preaching false hope, but regardless, I don't ever want her to think that there is NO chance because then, you start to lose that fight and once you lose that fight in you, there is nothing left holding on to keep you alive.

 

Recently we were asked to be one of four families participating in a promotional video for NNCCF. The concept is similar to the videos now viral on sites like YouTube where there is no talking, but only words written on cards. The video will be simply prolific and I am sure you will all love it! We had an awesome time and I will be sure to post a link once it is complete. Here is a still shot from one of the cards (we wrote what was written on all the cards).

Lauren has her follow up PET CT scheduled for tomorrow. Originally I was told that BC/BS denied the scan because they said it was too soon after the last one (two months). As I mentioned in my last blog post, I've been "stewing" the last few weeks, worried that the disease is no longer stable. I've been so scared lately. I just want this to be OVER! Anyhow, once we receive the results and take time to regroup on the results, regardless of good or bad, I'll post about her next treatment plan in depth. There will be no more chemo. 

I've asked a few times about prayers for Ariel, an almost 14 year old from the bay area battling 3rd relapse rhabdomyosarcoma. I asked again last week, through Facebook and Twitter, as Ariel had a really tough week and was in desperate need of some urgent prayers and positive energy. I am still asking for you to add Ariel and her entire family to your prayers each day. She needs to be home and well for her 14th birthday with her twin sister this weekend. Let's get this done!

One last thing, September is childhood cancer awareness month and I intend to advocate like a crazy momcologist! It's time to make people aware that kids get cancer too and the lack of funding is sickening.

peace & <3
-cherri